so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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