youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
