The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
