If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
