clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I love how my cats smell like pot.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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