she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
