oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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