I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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