I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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