what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
