Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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