went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
There r osticjed everywhere
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
