what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
