But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize