Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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