I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
