after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize