My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
