whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My underwear smells like fireworks.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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