You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize