what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
