I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
