Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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