dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
