just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
