I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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