It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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