we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Come share oat with me in your robe
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
