I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
