Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
