In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
this hospital has no fireball
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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