so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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