there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
What a dumb baby whore.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Don't tell me you're on acid again
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
