I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Randomize
