I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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