Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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