my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
