This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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