You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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