I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you win again, gameday.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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