i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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