There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
