Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Randomize
