I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
