I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
