So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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