So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
