No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
