Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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