I want to stick my p in your. b.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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