Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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