I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
