I just threw up on my dentist
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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