I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Of course I have a pirate flag
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
