No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize