I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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